There are two short
quotes from song lyrics that often stick in my head. The Eagles' Hotel California one is
the first and the other is from Harry Chapin’s W.O.L.D.
“You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.” ~ Hotel California, The Eagles
“Sometimes
I get this crazy dream that I just take off in my car. But you can travel on ten thousand miles and still stay where you are.” ~ W.O.L.D, Harry Chapin
They seem to
resonate more than just a little bit in terms of the life and times of a
Baggage Handler.
So, am I really
talking about airport staff here, or is it all metaphor once again?
Baggage
We are all carrying
metaphorical Baggage through our lives. We start carrying it sometimes
before we even go to school, whilst for some it’s there in our knapsacks by the
age of seven. Then we keep adding to it over the years, and it gets heavier,
and we get familiar with it by degrees.
And, of course, it is the familiarity
of it all that helps to keep it there – like old frozen food stuck at the
bottom of our chest freezers. Out of date – unpalatable, tasteless and
un-eatable – out of sight, out of mind.
Yet still we consume electricity in
keeping it stored and frozen – in there, like that.
In the greater scheme
of personal metaphors, needless to say, that’s the kind of electricity we could
put to a much better use in other parts of our lives, isn’t it?
Yet we don’t –
- We harbour
the idea that our Baggage is important to us.
- It is
familiar, and we like to surround ourselves with familiar things.
- We
couldn’t possibly abandon Baggage because we might find it useful for us
sometime in the future – so we keep it for a “rainy day.”
- “It is
part of the ME that I know and recognise as MYSELF,
YOU
know. Why would I abandon part of my IDENTITY?”
Checking Out
So, when we set out
with NEW resolve, perhaps to change some part of our lives that we aren’t
particularly happy with, we know there’s going to be some NEW ground broken –
we’re going to BECOME a different VERSION of Ourselves.
It’s a logical thing that we understand and accept …
Until the moment
that we discover that RESOLUTIONS and the RESOLVE, the Courage to carry them
through, is well outside of our COMFORT ZONE!
So, when it comes
to our Checking Out - “pre-flight” if you like – we’ve got to decide
what to do with the Baggage. Because this particular Check Out desk IS
DEFINITELY NOT a Baggage Check-In desk!
As the words in Hotel California
remind us about the chilling Outside-In nature of Reality – we can check out
any time we like; but we can never leave!
Outside-In
If we want to stay
in the familiarity of the Comfort Zone that is The Outside-In nature of Reality
– then we can NEVER LEAVE.
So, unless we go All-Out when we choose to Check Out, we’re
in here for LIFE.
We’re a Baggage Handler, stuck in this Reality for the duration. And on our Job
Description, as baggage handlers, are the following things we’ve signed up to …
- Happiness
is CONDITIONAL – we’ll be happy WHEN we’ve got the right (Car, Job, Partner,
House, Amount of money in the Bank, and so on.)
- Our persona is important to us and we MUST
stand up for our Selves and take things PERSONALLY – when we feel under attack from
others, or circumstances.
- We NEED
to feel In Control – so we can DIRECT our lives from the console of our Command
Centre. Losers are not in control of their lives, and it is important
to us that we keep a firm grip on this White Knuckle ride called Life.
- In
order to succeed I need to work hard, try hard, keep trying and striving. We
can never get anything worthwhile in life without putting in EFFORT. I need to
show the World that I am worthy of Success or the World won’t reward me.
- I need
to constantly monitor and judge both myself and others in terms of Perfections.
The World won’t accept imperfections – this I know to be true.
There are some
other Agreements we’ve personally signed up to – or have been signed up to BY
PROXY when we were growing up. And these Agreements, along with our status as Baggage
Handlers, keep us firmly rooted in the Life More Ordinary that society has fashioned
for us.
The Crazy Dreams
Yet – what of the
Crazy Dreams? These are the notions that there is out there, beyond the restricting
walls and the glass ceilings, another life. A life that we sometimes see others
living, with Eyes Wide Open that look like our eyes USED TO LOOK somehow,
before we began gathering Baggage.
These are the Crazy
Dreams that hit us in moments of Clarity and Wonder – and yet, as Harry Chapin
said, when we decide to JUST TAKE OFF in our cars we still need to be TRAVELLING
LIGHT.
- We
really don’t need the old clothes from the musty wardrobes.
- We
really don’t need the bonds and ties that are holding us back.
- We
really don’t need Control, like that, to have an amazing life – because relaxing
our Knuckles on the ride really does put the life blood back into our hands,
and steering becomes a lot easier when our knuckles aren’t hanging on tight.
Giving Ourselves Permission
We need to start
giving ourselves permissions to replace some of those agreements we’d signed,
especially the ones when we didn’t know any better!
- Permission
1 – Be Happy! Happiness is INNATE – it is in our nature. We are not required to
jump through unpleasant hoops of fire to satisfy a god, a judge, or others.
- Permission
2 – Be Kind, especially to ourselves. This involves not beating ourselves up
over things. We ARE ONLY HUMAN, after all – and none of us are PERFECT. Just look
at nature – it isn’t perfect either … it JUST IS! Yet, strangely, when nature
goes wrong it is always at the interference of controlling and perfectionist humans.
- Permission
3 – Notice our Wisdom! The quickest way to noticing our wisdom is to lay
Judgement aside. Being judgemental is a toxic addiction – which was revealed to
me a very long time ago. When we point our finger in judgement at someone, or
something, then we would do well to notice that we have three other fingers pointing
back at us. It is a simple reminder!
- Permission
4 – Have Belief in our own Courage! We are very good at dumbing down our
abilities, our capabilities, our strengths and our fortitude. We really are
capable of far more than might ever allow ourselves. I see this in my sports
coaching on an almost daily basis. “I can’t do this – I’m no good – No-one
wants me – And I really couldn’t do THAT!” Plus, we then go and follow up these
damning statements by watering down our commitment and our resolve – thus guaranteeing
our failure, so we can then say, “SEE – I told you so!” We are very good at
proving ourselves RIGHT instead of proving others WRONG! Remember - Actually giving ourselves Permissions is a real act of courage.
- Permission
5 – Giving ourselves Permission to LIVE OUR OWN LIVES. This is the greatest and
most forgotten Permission.
And this final Permission is the one that
will give us the freedom to live our Dreams, just take off in our cars, and
quit being a Baggage Handler.