Dealing with your "Bulls"

We all encounter dilemmas - and quite often we encounter a number all at once. At these moments we are in danger of overwhelm, emotional overload. As we struggle to pull each one into perspective, we lose perspective on the others - our "bandwidth" of coping and resolving is not broad enough.

One definition of a dilemma is - "state of uncertainty or perplexity especially as requiring a choice between equally unfavorable options". The phrase "The Horns of a Dilemma" seems to have originated from Roman times from the Latin phrase argumentum cornutum or "an argument with horns". In modern parlance this is finding ourselves "Between a rock and hard place", and it leads us to "Not being able to see the wood for the trees".

Focussing on the metaphorical horns for a moment, we often anticipate dilemmas as charging bulls.

When I was young I spent quite a lot of time out walking in the countryside. Because I was an only child, this activity was mostly enjoyed in the company of parents, aunts, uncles, older cousins - in fact, I was almost always the youngest there. One of the features of being in older company is they are more mindful of the dangers surrounding them, and especially those relating to a small boy! A prevalent danger when the footpath entered a new field was perceived as "is there a bull here?" In the mind of small boy, EVERY field might possibly contain a BULL - whilst the percentage is (in reality) very, very low. Couple this perception with an over-active imagination, and the bull - and those HORNS - is a perpetual and clear and present danger!

Looking at the metaphorical parallel - one dilemma is probably something we can deal with. Two dilemmas - becoming difficult. More than two - panic, overload!
With one dilemma we can choose to either RUN for survival to a place of refuge, or confront the bull and be a matador or just plain smart. And that's how we all cope to a greater or lesser degree. With two or more dilemmas we now have horns coming from multiple directions.

So how do you deal with your Bulls? Do you stand firm, or do you run for cover? If you are being charged by multiple Bulls, what then?

There's a shift we can experience in this metaphorical landscape, which can be really useful in throwing open some more windows on broader perspectives for us. It's the Disney effect - the cartoon representation of what is happening for us. How would a Disney cartoon character deal with the Bulls? What options are there? Some immediately spring to mind...

Jump on a bull's back and control the horns - wait and wait until they are really close then jump out of the way so they crash into each other - become a charger yourself and chase after the biggest bull - PLUS the more you think about it, the more examples will spring up for you.

The thing is - by looking at reframes and alternatives you are presented with multiple options - plus by looking at them within the framework of a metaphorical landscape you are presented with an inner, unconscious representation of what the problem(s) mean for you and how you can resolve them. The "trick" is to translate the best metaphorical outcome back into real life terms. And this is where you need to trust your unconscious to guide and present you with the most favourable choice.

All the answers are there within you - you just need a strategy for dealing with your Bulls!

PW