The Wright Way

The Wright Way

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Perfect Partner

“If you were told you can meet your perfect partner in exactly one month only, what would be your next actions?”

This was the question posed by a friend in an online post on a social media website. I found the question fascinating on a number of levels so I launched into a short snappy reply which, as I was writing, became longer and longer and then opened out onto a vast cosmic canvas.

My immediate reply was this:-

The pivotal word here for me is "can"! This presupposes possibility rather than probability, and also "only" presupposes some sort of deadline. The whole question implies I might need to effect some change in myself.
However - with my meagre though growing understanding of making order out of cosmic chaos, I'd view this from the perspective of my "perfect partner" - which could very well be ... ME!

The Linguistic Angle

Taking the presuppositions first; “CAN” implies no certainty but more possibility than probability. There’s also an implication when it is coupled with “ONLY” that, whilst there is a deadline – one month – that the chance of that meeting taking place after that time is zero. Also, with “EXACTLY” in there as well as can and only, then there’s a clue, a pointer, as to the very day this meeting can happen. It’s not as if it might happen within the next month either. So between the lines of this part of the question is a possibility that in 30 (or 31/29/28) days from now “you” meet your perfect partner.

The second part of the question asks about next actions, given this possibility of meeting. This could mean doing either something(s) or nothing. With “actions” in the plural however, the presupposition is that there are several things that might be done – thus ruling out doing nothing! Going a stage further, there is an implication that there are some imperfections present right now – either “you” has an imperfect partner, or “you” is without partner and is less than perfect. So, the overall implication is that “you” needs to take actions to make some changes in either themselves or their situation.

Whilst this argument is by no means totally explored here, you can see what the questioner is trying to tease out from the readers by placing subtle boundaries and covert implications.

The Personal Angle

The next perspective I took in my answer was the personal one. What if the whole question is about me being the perfect partner for myself?

It then becomes a question about personal discovery, finding oneself. After all, surely the MOST perfect partner for anyone in life must be themselves? This takes everything from being outside, to going inside and taking actions to learn and discover more about oneself. The inference drawn from the question now becomes the fact that it will only take a month from NOW for you to reach a point of being your perfect partner.

Now, I’ve written now there in capitals for a very specific reason. The thing is, if we take what’s presupposed here, then you is in a state of “not perfect” in the present, i.e. NOW. Since the only things that ever exist, exist NOW – then whatever changes you might make, there’s always the conclusion that you will always be imperfect. Even in a month’s time – when that comes round to being NOW, you will still be imperfect (given that it is presupposed in the question that you is imperfect.)

What if it is decided that ‘you’ is perfect right now, and that through each successive point of NOW you will therefore continue to be perfect?
Now, this seems to be a better notion – a better angle to view both to and from. It bears out the fact that in a month from now you not only can, but will, meet your perfect partner!

So what actions might be taken in that month? Whatever actions (or inactions) taken will be the right ones, it would seem, since the outcome will not change the state of perfection ‘you’ enjoys in every moment of NOW.
To shorten what might be a very lengthy development of an exposition, in other words just live for every moment, and enjoy living with yourself as the perfect partner. For if you attempt to be anyone other than who you really are, then you are not living your own life. Be yourself – you are already perfect right NOW.

The Cosmic Angle

This is the perspective I found most fascinating from going through the process of answering the questioner’s conundrum.

Let’s assume an outside partner, and a partner being another person - for argument’s sake.

So the ‘you’ in question has been informed of a cosmic possibility in a month’s time of crossing the path of another person, a person who will be a perfect partner for ‘you’.

What action(s) does ‘you’ have to take?

Well, the only action needed is for ‘you’ to remain open to responding to whatever is happening at an intuitive, or unconscious, level.
If ‘you’ is not someone who is already open to taking action and making decisions based upon intuition, then ‘you’ needs to become aware of this and to set in motion a chain of events. A chain of events that will culminate in one month’s time with the crossing of paths with ‘your’ perfect partner. Be open, and take intuitive action!

Take intuitive action

Taking intuitive action plugs each of us into what is going on at an unconscious level – and this unconscious level for us is in tune with unconscious levels for many others.

People, places, events, are seemingly thrown together at random – at a conscious, everyday level there is no kind of collective synchronicity, save for what we might call “programmed communication”. This might be close personal interactions, group activities etc that are in some way “planned” or programmed.

However you view events and places, man-made or otherwise - how our lives flow in, through and round these events, places and other people is random, Brownian in nature and is “cosmic chaos”. Or so it seems – from the outside looking in, or perhaps from the inside looking out? It’s not so much about comparing the detail with the overview, though – but more about acknowledging the part that each one of us can play in bringing some order out of the chaos.

If you want to bring some cosmic order into your life, then having an open mind, a curiosity, an understanding of what operates at an unconscious level, a fearless fascination, a grounding in knowing that everything is not quite what it might seem to be – is a great start! And that’s only the start of it. All these faculties need to be utilised all the time to a level of unconscious competence. We need to notice the difference between the order and chaos of things, people, places, events because there is a steady stream of relevant messages in there for us. We need to notice the messages.

We need to act intuitively where it is appropriate to do so, for if we ignore our intuition then random or chaotic things may happen to us, and elements of order already put into place for us go unnoticed and do not get acted upon. If we get a gut feeling about something or someone, then if our head (or conscious intellect) chooses to ignore that feeling there will be consequences.

Trying to ‘force’ or contrive cosmic order is not going to yield positive results. Yes it will yield results, but these will further agitate and randomise the chaos. Forcing or contriving is, by nature, interfering at a conscious level. Operating at this level is rather like turning a tap on and expecting electricity to come out.

If you operate at an intuitive level, then you understand that every action you take and every event that impinges upon you is there for a reason or purpose. You “go with the flow” of those events and actions rather than attempt to withstand or ignore them – and things just seem to work out. If they don’t work out the way you want, then there is a reason for that. You need to also consider the fact that your wanting was not operating at an unconscious level. (This may well apply to those who would visualize ‘ordering up a Porsche’ and being disappointed when it has not appeared on the drive the next morning!)

Back to the Future

So if the intuitive message was that a month from now some order would emerge from the chaos, then the first part of any action has already been taken – you’ve noticed the message! Now what heed needs to be paid?
There will be alignments between now and when the time comes round. The importance of everything you do between now and then will become increasingly relevant. There will be things you do not notice that will be re-ordered. For order to come into being for you, you need to notice the messages and take intuitive action. If you continue to not notice then the random chaos will continue and the time will pass with no result.


You can consider yourself as a leaf being carried afloat down a river. If you remain mid-stream then the river will bear you along to a downstream destination – if you drift to the edges of the stream then you may end up in a backwater or on the riverbank, away from the intention the stream of the river may have had for you. The part you can play in this is to understand the river and what it can do for you.

The other conclusion here is that “perfect partner” can be something else such as a place or location, a house, a job, a calling. The same rules and laws apply in terms of making order out of the chaos.

1 comment:

SkinnyRichCoach said...

Thanks Peter for the article.