The Born Optimist

We've all used the phrase at some stage - "He's a born optimist," yet do we consider exactly what we mean by such a statement?
Surely everyone is a born optimist aren't they? Have you ever seen a pessimistic baby?

So where is all this complete distortion coming from?

In our growing up, by the time we come to understand what optimism, pessimism, beliefs, facts, generalizations and distortions all mean, we've already got our own versions of them - as contours of our perception. The thing is, we may have grown into an understanding of all these constructs, these shapings mapped out as contours of our perception, however we have hard-wired them into our young minds as being "real".

At this stage we are still very early in the timescale of life's learning curve. A large part of our library of life still has empty shelves, shelves waiting to be populated by knowledge, by experience. So who is telling us how to be our own librarian? As our own librarians we need to know which experiences, learnings, understandings and knowledge are fiction and which are non-fiction. Who teaches us how to code these things up?

Learning to be our 'librarians'

There is an interestingly neutral phrase - "family of origin" - which seems to encompass the very beginnings of this. After family of origin comes a wider circle of family friends, and then more formal educators etc. Other 'characters' and 'types' will move in and out of these circles - such as medical people, priests, people in the neighbourhood etc. All of these people have a degree of influence upon librarianship - some of the influence will be through repetitive interaction, and some will be less repetitive or even singular. There are other elements to influence as well - such as emotional imprints.

Now, while our learning about our own librarianship is hugely personal and unique - there is something our CHIEF influencers need to be aware of in helping us to become better librarians. There are many things that can be labelled as 'good parenting', however it is in the area of influencing the learning librarian where the most benefit can accrue.
You will hear many parents say, "I don't want what happened to me in my childhood to happen to my child." Most people have some things they'd like to protect their child from. It's all part of giving them better opportunities, a better 'start in life'. Many parents will go to great lengths and sacrifices in order to bring this about.

I would suggest however that it is in that trainee librarianship, the things we need to know in order to become balanced and knowledgable custodians of our own reality, where the 'best start' in life begins.

The truth is - life happens.
Every day a set of new 'life books' arrive into the library and it's our job to code up the ones we want to keep and put them on the shelves in the right place. We might even want to read them and get to know more about them as well.
We also need to return some books to the central library as being not necessary, of no use, inappropriate or some such like. And that's good too, since there are things in life that are to be rejected in such a way.

And yet if our quality of librarianship isn't that good and we use our library to tell us what to believe, how to behave, who to trust - then it isn't that surprising that some of the things in our life will be 'out of sync' with how we'd like things to be.

Shelf Development

Many people see me about changing something malfunctioning in their lives OR getting back something they used to have OR being better at something they are doing. These things are all held in place in their lives because of their perceptions - their hard-wired view of what is real - their abilities as librarians to have filled their shelves (especially the non-fiction ones) with many volumes devoted to Pessimism, books from the "I can't" series and "Teach Yourself Limiting Beliefs".

They all want to do some Self Development, without having realised that they've been developing their selves all their lives. Trouble is they've been developing themselves with manuals from their own faulty library.
OK - I can lend them a book on X or Y, that will sort out just those things - X or Y. However, if that's all they've done, when they get back to "reality" then they are just going to keep taking books off those shelves marked as "non-fiction" without realising that they are pure fiction!
The key to what I like to show them is that they need to change their perceptions, especially about what's really real and what's just thinking about what's real.

They need to realise that it's not the books already in their library that are wrong, only the labelling on the shelves. So - the task of "re-developing" their selves is quite minimal when they realise they haven't got to throw away all the books! Curiously, might this be called "Shelf Development?"

So how to get back to or stay being a Born Optimist?

* By acknowledging that there IS NO key - only you ARE the key - and that this all starts NOW.
* By blending a lifetime of experience, learning and knowledge with the open-minded, wide-eyed wonder of a young child.
* By accepting that you've reached this point in your life in spite of coding up your books all wrong, in spite of never questioning all that hot-wiring that took place on your behalf - no matter how well intentioned it might have been!

Oh - and parents - watch out for your own inner acceptances being modelled by your children when very young. Just get them to keep questioning what is and isn't real and nurture in them a lifelong sense of curiosity and wonder.