When the Chips are Down

Not long ago I went to get a ‘convenience’ portion of chips from a local establishment I don’t normally frequent. I only really went there because it’s a walking distance away and I was more driven by convenience than anything else.

There was a handful of other patrons waiting for their orders to be completed but my “portion of chips, please,” was speedily executed. I watched as he shovelled chips into a polystyrene tray, but it was only a casual observation rather than qualitative data gathering. My mind was elsewhere.

After wrapping up my purchase he stuck out a frier’s paw. “That’ll be £1.60.” I’d already seen the price up on the menu board so I’d checked the change in my pocket and, as luck would have it, had exactly £1.60 ready to hand over. I reached over and emptied the contents of my hand full of change into his outstretched mitt and politely waited as he counted it – rather than just making for the door.

“Oi, mate,” he bellowed in stentorian admonishment, slapping what I thought was a penny on the counter. “Can’t accept that. It’s not a penny.” Was this performance for the other ‘punters,’ I wondered, as he clearly was having no truck with my attempt to diddle him out of 1p. He further pointed out it was 1/100^th of a euro – and I needed to give him something of proper value to make up the difference. His podgy digits rested on the counter and the index finger beckoned and waved at me to ‘cough up’ sharpish. I slipped him a £20 note and held out my hand so he could give me back my £1.59 change.

 

In Retrospect

You know those instances – after the event – when you think, “If only ... Why didn’t I do this, or why didn’t I say that?” This was one of those instances.

And the thing is, with this particular instance, there was a whole raft of alternatives which – had I been switched on – I would have, could have, should've chosen!

Sarcasm - I could have slowly and pointedly examined the change HE gave me for my £20 note saying, “Better check this closely for buttons,” or some such thing.
Take flight - I could have just walked out having paid £1.59 + 1 cent and waited to see whether he would bother to chase after me.
Act as if foreign – Pretend not to understand him and then insist that “IS  Penny – why you no like?”

And these are just three that come to mind! My retrospective of choice, however, came down to this ...

The chips I had casually watched being shovelled earlier did not look entirely appetising – though, let’s remember, I’d gone there for convenience. The quality of their raw materials – the spuds – left a lot to be desired, and many of the chips had black eyes and other marks. When Mr Tuck tossed the 1 cent coin back at me I should have unwrapped the package, carefully picked over what passed for chips and removed all the black marked and inedible ones to a neat pile on his counter. I would have, thus, left him with a heap of “un-merchantable” chips to the value of ... let’s say 1 cent, and that would have made us quits. 

Sadly, these all passed as figments of my imagination – yet wouldn’t it be nice if I could draw upon a resource that would keep me switched on to being smart with my chosen response, like that!

There was an interesting book I read a couple of years ago by Olympic athlete Steve Backley called “The Champion in All of Us”. In it he described the various pathways taken by a coach and four character athletes he was working with called “Would’ve”, “Should’ve”, “Could’ve” and “Did”. Certainly, some of the 12 rules for success he outlined might be useful in helping me raise my “streetwise” game from mere retrospectives to the actual!

 
In conclusion and after inviting you to ponder – might I ask, in all innocents, “A Penny for Your Thoughts?”