Who am I to judge?

When I coach I'm doing what I love. It is part of my identity, I have a large number of beliefs associated with coaching, I have an acquired and experiential range of skills that support my work, and my working behaviour follows a set of well defined patterns. It's not something I do - it's what I am.

As a sports coach dealing with a lot of young players, part of my heart goes out with everyone I have ever worked with. It's an associative relationship. As a result there are many pleasurable instances upon seeing, and hearing of, players' successes and advances. There are downsides of course because that's human nature - and so the disappointments have to be borne alongside the satisfactions.

However - should this go for their off-field as well as on-field actions?

There are occasions when I find my work being judged for both - which is misguided I know, but it has had an effect on clients both current and potential. Now, whilst I'm not saying whether this is a positive or a negative effect...I'm sure you can reach the conclusion that, when the world is viewing the activities of "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly", it is not "The Good" stuff that leads to a loss of business!

Dealing with the effects of Judgement

The other effect of judgement is where, in the scheme of things, is it likely to hit us the most?
This is where an understanding of the logical levels within NLP is really useful in making changes to how we are dealing with something like this. The logical levels (developed by Roberts Dilts) follow a hierarchy from low to high along the following range of categories:-
Environment - Behaviour - Skills & Strategies - Beliefs and Values - Identity & Mission - Spirituality & Purpose

Since part of my coaching lies at the level of identity, then any judgement of it will have an impact at that level. So when such a misguided judgement impugns who I am, then I have a tendency to take it badly or "take it to heart" you might say.
And this leads me to going through the process of questioning myself and some of my associations.

At the end of the day I return to my beliefs, one of which is that people are not their behaviours.

History has shown - both above and below the threshold between being visible or anonymous - that those who are judged as doing 'good' things are not necessarily 'good' people and vice versa.
We should all remember there are sometimes gulfs between peoples' identities, beliefs, skills and behaviours. As witnessed with dictators, priests, pickpockets, saints, and the rest of us 'mere mortals'.

Fortunately for me this belief is strong enough to counteract the effects of the misguided judgement at all levels - though ONLY after I have considered the belief and the judgement side by side. Before I make the connection however, I get to process the full force of the judgement upon myself.

Conclusion

To be fair, knowing the logical levels actually channels the few judgements I do make into the appropriate area, the proper level. It helps me understand people's actions, behaviours and motives in a much clearer way - and that includes myself.

There are two 'cultures' within society today that are particularly embraced by the young - one is alcohol and the other is selfless altruism. This week, having found myself associated with people whose actions embrace both cultures, it would be very easy to judge them accordingly!
But I won't - because ultimately Who Am I To Judge?